I’LL END UP ON THE STREET! – How My Worst Fear Came True…
I’LL END UP ON THE STREET!
The sickening, gut-wrenching and paralysing fear that surfaced from the depths of my subconscious when I literally found myself on the street during my divorce -had it not been for a dear soul sister who took me in – HAS STRUCK AGAIN!
As a classically trained actress in my early twenties, I let go of any expectations of security.. Including financial security. Not knowing when my next project would be, I lived the starving artist -if not for my waitressing job- cliché.. Yet, I didn’t really worry.. I had a deeply imbedded trust that -even during my artistic endeavours- I WOULD BE PROVIDED FOR..
That trust paid off when determined not to spend an unemployed summer (the theatres were closed) in the Netherlands and I TOOK A LEAP OF FAITH, accepting a summer job in Japan and ENDED UP MANIFESTING USD 120K for me and a friend! (No, nothing illegal, we both still have our little pinkies : )
As I didn’t want this gift to be lost on rent -the most likely scenario for a struggling actress- my friend and I savoured our freedom, traveling for months, celebrating life and treating both our mums to a luxurious holiday in Hawaii.
A few years later, that same trust prevailed when I PRIORITISED MY FREEDOM AND GROWTH once again over the disingenuous acting industry and embarked on a two year journey around the world on a shoestring. I DIDN’T WORRY ABOUT MONEY AND FELT IMMENSELY RICH IN MY EXPERIENCES...
I never returned from that world trip and MANIFESTED A WONDERFULLY ABUNDANT LIFE in Hong Kong, filled with love, mountain and ocean view, many rescue puppies and lots of travel.
And when I eventually courageously pursued my passion for wildlife conservation in Africa, I didn’t think twice to put most of my savings towards my training and the animal conservation projects that needed it most.
YET WHEN I FOUND MYSELF SOME TIME LATER UNEXPECTEDLY LOCKED OUT OF MY MARITAL HOME AND JOINT BANK ACCOUNTS with only the clothes on my back, I cried and screamed.. the trust was gone as a sudden overwhelming fear of ending up on the street was all too real and nauseating!
The major spiritual awakening and humbling healing journey that ensued - having to die a first death to arise from the ashes- has since allowed me to dissolve many layers of my unworthiness trauma and abundance blocks, prioritising my spiritual growth and healing services at all times.. EMBRACING MONEY AS AN ENERGY OF FREEDOM, NOT AFRAID TO INVEST OVER 50K IN MY SPIRITUAL GROWTH AND TRAININGS, qualifications, healing sessions and workshops all over the world.
A HIGHLY IMPACTFUL PAST LIFE REGRESSION SESSION many years ago, in which I experienced an Egyptian life as the Pharaoh’s daughter, yet died a horrible death as a beggar on the street- was essential in transforming the fear of ending up on the street and putting it to rest for good.
Or so I thought …
Through a deeper alignment with my soul essence and divine healing gifts, courageous inspired action, and much trust and surrender, I CREATED AN AMAZING LIFE FOR MYSELF IN MAGICAL BALI, CELEBRATING THE REGISTRATION OF MY LICENSED HEALING PRACTICE (a 5 year journey) only months before the “Covid crisis”.
Overnight, I was forced to close the doors of my healing space for the foreseeable future, LOSING 90% OF MY BUSINESS, WHILE INFORMED THAT A MAJOR FINANCIAL INVESTMENT I HAD COUNTED ON FOR ME TO FUND MY OWN HEALING RETREAT IN BALI HAD FAILED, adding to that the prior loss of my crypto currency investments and the Covid stock market crash wiping out my retirement funds.. THAT'S WHEN IT HIT
.. RECOILING ME STRAIGHT INTO THE ABYSS; “WHAT IF I’LL END UP ON THE STREET.. AGAIN?!"
While outwardly peaceful and detached, it paralysed me for weeks.. Disconnected from Source -escaping in menial tasks-
I only barely engaged in my spiritual practice or daily visualisations of an abundantly loving, joyful, financially free and meaningful life.. I was numb..
I KNEW THIS FEAR WASN’T MY TRUTH AND IN ORDER TO TRANSCEND IT I HAD TO KNOW WHAT ABUNDANCE BLOCK WAS AT THE ROOT OF IT THIS TIME sabotaging my usual high vibes and the trust in myself and the universe.
I ENTERED INTO A TRANCE AND ASKED MY SOUL… (as I do for my clients in my Soul Guidance sessions).
THE ANSWER BLEW ME AWAY..
I was told that I was afraid to have it all..
As having it all comes with responsibilities.
I told my soul that I had never shied away from responsibilities, the opposite, “Responsibility” was my middle name. My soul affirmed this, yet conveyed that subconsciously I feared that the responsibilities that come with more money would tie me down and restrict me in my freedom.
Since I had equated money to freedom, I was amazed to hear that SUBCONSCIOUSLY I FEARED THAT MORE MONEY WOULD TAKE AWAY MY FREEDOM!
I instantly recalled some of my peaceful visions of living a very simple life in nature surrounded by my animals and I knew in my heart it was true..
I was reminded that this deep soul awareness and a powerful energy healing, combined with visualisations to clear and rewire old neurological patterns – in my case envisioning myself handling any new responsibilities from the expansion of my business and other money flowing in, with confidence and ease - were essential in transcending the fear and magnetising a next level of financial abundance, especially with my healing practice now shifting fully into a virtual realm.
At the dawn of a new birthing year for me, I’M EMBRACING MY OWN HIGHER JOURNEY OF ABUNDANCE, WITH A REVIVED TRUST, PLAYFULNESS AND INSPIRATION - and of course, bookings flooded in the moment I did! -
while simultaneously feeling called to help others do the same through a combination of powerful Soul channeling and energy healing (Reiki).
YOU ARE SO WORTHY OF THE MOST LOVING, FINANCIALLY SECURE, JOYFUL, EXPANSIVE
AND MEANINGFUL LIFE!... And it’d be my honour to help you embody your full potential and the magnificent source of abundance that you already are!
I’m very excited to pioneer this powerful new session (all details in my next message) - at a crazy introduction price! Can’t wait to crush those money blocks and elevate to new abundant heights together!
All my love
Esther